When I think about Father’s Day I’m filled with mixed emotions. It often takes me back to the time I was a little girl sitting in my room playing with my dolls, wondering why my father wasn’t there. Growing up as a teenager was very hard because I didn’t have that father to help protect me from all the games guys played. I can remember turning 13 years old and feeling like I was on cloud nine when my mom married my stepdad. I thought I finally had the dad I always wanted. The weird thing was I still felt empty. I still felt like something wasn’t right. The love that was being offered to me I openly rejected for no reason at all. Instead, I searched for that love and protection in all the wrong places which lead to bad choices and bad decisions. For awhile, my mother was both mother and father because my stepdad seemed to have given up on expressing his love towards me. I often wondered if it was really there. Even though my blood doesn’t flow through his veins I know he loves me. As I matured over the years God blessed me with my father-in-law who also showed me how one could love unconditionally. My father in-law has showed me so much love that I no longer feel the void that I had been feeling over the years anymore. I learned over trial and error that even though my biological father wasn’t there for me, God placed people in my life to show me what a father is and how a father should treat his daughter. But ultimately, God let me know that He is my father. He was my father when I was that sad little girl and He was that father that protected me in my ignorance as I made bad choices and bad decisions. He’s still my father as I continue to grow into a mature adult still trying to find my way. So Happy Father’s Day, Daddy!!
I also thank the men God placed in my life along the way for being my father while I was searching in vain. I love you!
Mikenda Early is 32 years old and a mother of three. She currently resides in Nashville, TN. She’s working on her first fiction novel while attending Nashville State pursuing a degree in Nursing.
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