Why? Why are you allowing me to go through this? These are the questions I asked God. In mid-thought I looked at the clock on my computer and noted that it was five o’clock, time for me to leave and meet my husband downstairs. As I walked to the elevator I felt alone physically and emotionally. When the elevator reached the lobby I stepped out and my husband was standing there waiting patiently. He greeted me with a kiss like always but, this kiss was different. It seemed very intimate although it was a peck on my lips. The peck spoke to my being. Although he didn’t say anything the kiss said it all. The kiss said, are you okay? The kiss said, baby I’m here for you, the kiss said, baby we will get through this. The loneliness I felt not even five minutes ago was history. I thank God for a caring and compassionate husband. He took my hand and we walked a block over to the emergency room at Thomas Jefferson Hospital. We walked in silence. I could hear the click clacking of my heels which began to annoy me. At this point I just wanted to get this day over with. We arrived at the emergency room to find that it was very crowded. The room was packed with sick people coughing and hacking all over the place. I started to feel physically sick and told my husband, “I can not sit in here.” We sat outside of the crowded room. As we sat there I was in pain, my stomach was cramping. I rubbed my tummy to relieve the pain.

“You’re in pain?” my husband asked.

“Yes,” I replied.

He jumped up and said, “I’ll be right back.” He returned to where we were sitting and took me to see the triage nurse. As I sat down in the chair, the nurse said, “So what brings you here today?”

“I’m five weeks pregnant and I’ve been bleeding and cramping since 12 o’clock pm today,” I replied softly.

She took my pressure and temperature and then asked me how my pain felt on a scale from one to ten. I told her I felt about an “8.” After that, she told me that the doctor would see me soon, but soon turned into eight hours later. We ate dinner in the emergency room, had a snack, and I took a nap. I could have gone back to work and completed another shift by the time they called me in the back to wait again. While in the emergency room none of our family members knew we were there. We spoke with the children to let them know we would be getting home late and gave them instructions on what to eat for dinner. After a few hours, the emergency room cleared out and we were able to find a couple of seats in the waiting area. As we waited, I stared at the other people in the waiting room. There were many sick people in there and there were other people in the room who didn’t look sick; however, they were there to see a doctor, too. There was a young lady to right of me that cried the entire time she was in the emergency room. There was a man that sat directly next to me with a white tee shirt on, black pants and black sneakers. His hair was scraggily and he had a suitcase with him. He fell asleep and began snore very loudly. I became very annoyed and nudged him saying, “Excuse me, you’re snoring.” Everyone around me began to laugh, but I was serious. I then walked to the bathroom to find I was still bleeding and clotting.

I looked in the mirror and cried like a baby. This feeling I was experiencing was like no other. The pain I felt physically did not compare to the pain I felt emotionally. I felt betrayed by God, my heart ached and my spirit was broken in pieces. I must have stayed in the bathroom for at least ten minutes just crying. Once I got myself together I went back to my chair and sat down next to my husband. I was numb and in another world. A man with a green scrub walked out from the back with a chart in his hand, I prayed he would call my name. It felt like it took him a year to call the name. “Elaine Brewster,” he announced. Normally I would have corrected a person that mispronounces my name, but I was so happy to be called. We gathered our things and walked in the back.

 To be continued….

Elaine Broaster-White is the mother of two wonderful, intelligent children and the wife of the most perfect husband, whose absolutely perfect for her. But most importantly she is a child of the King, the most High God, Jesus Christ.

© 2013, Shalena D.I.V.A. – Personal Branding| Content Marketing| Product Creation. All rights reserved.


  1. Taleah Range McCowan on June 21, 2010 at 12:22 pm

    I hope all is well Elaine. May God be with you!

  2. Elaine on June 22, 2010 at 9:53 am

    All is well because God is still in control.

    Be Blessed,

    EB White

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